


Mystery Behind the Mask: Spider-Man

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Peter Parker is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 18:45:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16203449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This week on Buzzfeed unsolved we are discussing the mystery behind the web-slinging wonder, Spider-Man.Or Shane and Ryan discuss theories on why our favorite web-slinger wears a mask.





	Mystery Behind the Mask: Spider-Man

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so the format of this chapter really won't make any sense if you've never watched an episode of Buzzfeed unsolved. If you haven't go watch an episode of that show, it's hilarious. I recommend the one about Moth Man, The Spontaneous Human Combustion of Mary Reeser, or any of the episodes with ghosts. Basically, Buzzfeed unsolved (supernatural) is about them trying to prove whether or not ghosts, aliens, mystical creatures and other things of that nature are real. Shane is smart and needs a substantial amount of evidence to believe in the supernatural, so he doesn't believe in ghosts, but he does think its possible for aliens to be real. Ryan, on the other hand, will hear the wind whistle by his ear and believe it was a ghost trying to communicate with him, he's extremely susceptible to believing in the supernatural. 
> 
> In the show, Ryan tells Shane all the theories and backs the theories with a bit of evidence. The bolded text, like in the show, is when Ryan and Shane break away from discussing the matter and Shane talks about how unlikely it is. Shane is always on the left and Ryan is on the right.

Two guys sit at a wooden table and look directly at the camera in front of them. In front of Ryan (the Asian guy on the right) sits a few folders, which he has in hopes of looking sophisticated. Shane sits on the left of Ryan and looks uterlly unimpressed by the folders and crosses his arms. 

"This week on Buzzfeed unsolved we are discussing the mystery behind the web-slinging wonder, Spider-Man," Says Ryan into the the camera.   
  
"So get ready for me to drop some sweet knowledge," adds Ryan in an excited tone.   
  
"Being that this is an actual person, it's not going to be that hard for you to convince me of your claims. But knowing you, you'll probably find some way to screw this up," Shane explained sarcastically.   
  
"Hey!"  
  
Shane smirked, "You know its true Ryan. Don't even try to deny it."  
  
Ryan huffed in defeat, "Yeah, whatever."  
  
"Since the appearance of Ironman in 2008, superheroes have been a prominent part of our lives. But then when the Avengers were formed in 2012 and aliens literally fell out of the sky we all thought our lives couldn't get any stranger, but we couldn't be further from the truth. In 2015 a man who could literally stick to walls was discovered in Queens, New York."

 

* * *

  
**You know, I had faith in you Ryan. I thought for once you'd give me straight facts the whole episode since this is an actual person, unlike ghosts. I can tell this episode is going to be full of shit cause of how dramatic you were.**  
  
**Hahaha Those are facts.**  
  
**Yes, they are. I'm not questioning that.**  
  
                               **Then what are you trying to                                say, Shane?**  
  
**It's saying you're going to give me BS theories.**  
  
                                      **What, no. Most of them                                      are backed by evidence.**  
  
**Most?**  
  
                                                  **(wheeze) Hahaha**  
  
**Just give me the facts**. 

 

* * *

  
  
"In 2015 videos appeared on YouTube of a man in a red and blue outfit catching a bus with his bare hands. At first, most thought the video was fake, but as the weeks went by more and more sighting were made of this alleged Spider-Man."  
  
"From what I've gathered from the videos, he has superhuman strength, he has enhanced senses and can adhere to any surface."

 

* * *

  
  
**So what, he's just a sticky Captain America?**  
  
**(Wheeze) No, his** **powers                                     are different.**

  
**Really, Ryan? He's a sticky Boi that punches people, lives in New York, is super strong, and has enhanced senses. Captain America can do all that except stick to walls.**  
  
**Hahaha Sticky Boi?**  
  
**It's what he is. Man, imagine– he probably woke up one day and was like "mom help, my hand is stuck to the toothpaste and won't come off."**  
  
**Hahahah Some how I doubt                                that's how it happened.**

 

* * *

  
  
In 2016, after what the news dubbed the  "civil war" Spider-Man was dressed in an all-new, high tech suit, which was most likely made by Tony Stark. Since then Spider-Man has fought crime all around New York and has even gained a few villains. Most notorious of which are the Vulture and Shocker.

 

* * *

 

 **The Vulture and the Shocker. What is this, Pro wrestling?**  
  
**Hahaha**  
  
**At least make the name cool. If I had those metal wings I'd have a cooler name.**  
  
**Like what, wingatron?**  
  
**That actually works this time Ryan, but I was thinking something like Demon Bird–wait that's lame–ugh or Winged Warrior.**  
  
**I have to say, I'm glad the news                          stations stuck with the Vulture.**

 

* * *

  
"While the origin and extent of his powers have been questioned, the real mystery lies behind the mask. Who is Spider-Man and why does he wear a mask? But today we'll only be discussing why he wears a mask"  
  
"The first theory we will discuss has to do with his DNA."  
  
"Due to the fact that this hero can adhere to walls like a Spider and his costume's theme involves spiders, many think that Spider-Man is, in fact, a spider."

 

* * *

  
  
**Well, I don't know Ryan.The man running the hot dog stand smells like hot dogs and his outfit is hotdog themed, so he must be a hotdog.**  
  
**(Wheeze) hahaha Just                                         hear me out.**  
  
**I'm all ears.**

 

* * *

  
  
"Dr. Banner's powers developed after being exposed to gamma radiation while he unknowingly attempted to recreate the super soldier serum. Due to an unknown genetic factor in his body, Banner was not killed by the gamma radiation, but instead caused him to frequently transform into the Hulk."  
  
"Some think that, like Banner, Spider-Man was exposed to recreated super soldier serum that was modified with arachnid DNA, but instead of becoming buff like Captain America he became gained some spidery characteristics."

 

* * *

 

  
**That's your theory?**  
  
**Well, I mean mine and the                                   internet. But, yeah.**  
  
**So you think Spider-Man wears a mask because he looks like a spider under the mask.**  
  
**When you say it like that...**

 

* * *

  
  
"The second theory is that the original Spider-Man died and was replaced by a robot. Since the Civil War, Spider-Man has only been spotted wearing the new technologically advanced suit that was most likely created by Tony Stark."

 

* * *

  
  
**How is this evidence that he's a robot? If I was given a kick-ass Stark suit I'd ditch my old homemade suit too.**  
  
**Just wait Shane, I have                                        some evidence.**  
  
**Can't wait.**

 

* * *

  
  
"A few people have even reported that Spider-Man's voice has sounded modified and different than usual after he began to wear the Stark suit. Some even claim that he sounds like a robot. And if in fact his suit was made by Tony Stark, then it is likely that this suit has been operated by an android with artificial intelligence this whole time."

 

* * *

  
**So you're telling me that Tony Stark spent millions of dollars to create a robot for the sole purpose of protecting Queens? If I had that big old brain and bags of money at my disposal I would have chosen another location for my robot to protect. Maybe Manhattan.**  
  
**Hahaha This is just a theory.**

 

* * *

  
  
"The third theory, is entirely from the internet. I don't believe it, but many believe that Spider-Man is in fact an alien."

 

* * *

  
**Okay**  
  
**Hahahahah**  
  
**Just shut your mouth Ryan, I'm done.**  
  
**Hey, I'm just telling you what                              people are saying.**  
  
**Well, get into the theory then.**  
  
**That's it.**  
  
**That's the theory?**  
  
**Hahahah that's all I got.**  
  
**Fuck you. You're manipulating me. You know Aliens are on of the only things I believe in. And that's only because there are facts.**  
  
**Hey, I'm not saying that this                               is the truth, but can you                                       definitively say that Spider-                               Man isn't an alien?**  
  
**...No**  
  
**Hahaha**

 

* * *

  
"For now, until we get more evidence, the mystery behind the mask remains unsolved."


End file.
